it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
