Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
