he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize