He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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