I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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