Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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