so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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