So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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