I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize