If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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