So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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