Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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