god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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