I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
