so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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