There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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