We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
