all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
3 2 1 whiskey
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
