I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
