We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
