As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
