Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
