Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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