Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
