When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize