Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
