Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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