So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
