As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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