I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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