Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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