Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
