fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
