ugly people sure do ruin things
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
