i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize