Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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