Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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