wake up i wanna do it froggy style
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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