the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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