So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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