i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize