I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
