well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
