Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
