Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
