We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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