whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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