There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
farters have to be the big spoon...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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