We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we're so committed to being not committed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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