Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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