no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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