I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
