He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
don't judge my taste in strippers
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
