Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
