You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
