we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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