I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
