omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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