as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We left an ass print on the piano.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Randomize
