if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
try to milk me bitch
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