I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
