It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize