You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
