I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
