Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
